What I Plan to Read in 2025

Hi All, here is the list of book I am planning on reading in 2025. Some of these I borrowed or even began in 2024 but didn’t finish. Others a recommendations from friends, or books that are still on hold at the library! The list isn’t in any particular order.

1.) The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

This had been on my list for maybe 6 months, and I kept pushing back reading it. After I lied to someone saying I’ve read it, I decided I now had to read it so I would be telling the truth atemporally.

2.) The Postcard by Tony Abbott

I read this book as a kid and it was a bit too advanced when I read it, so I didn’t understand everything. I want to reread it to see what lines up in my memory. I remember liking it.

3.) The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston

I had borrowed this and never opened it. I can’t tell if it’s going to be dark academic or romanitic realistic fiction, so I’m excited to read it!

4.) The Inheritance of Orquídea Divina by Zoraida Cordova

I started this recently but put it on hold, so I aim to finish it.

5.) The Kiss of the Nightingale by Adi Denner

I started this and wasn’t as engaged as I know I can be, so I’ll pick it up again.

6.) Blood of Hercules by Jasmine Mas

I borrowed this and haven’t cracked it open

7.) The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory

I borrowed this and never opened it.

8.) Wool (Silo Series) by Hugh Howey

This was recommended by a friend!

9.) Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

This was recommended by a friend!

10.) Choke by Chuck Palaniuk

This was a Hanukkah present from a friend! I’m hoping it’s hilarious.

11.) The Seven and a Half Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton

This was recommended by a friend!

12.) Red Rising by Pierce Brown

This was recommended by a friend! I’ve seen it before so I hope I like it!

13.) Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth

I loved the Divergent Series, so I hope I like this. I think I read a few pages in 2024 but stopped.

14.) A Cathedral of Myth and Bone by Kat Howard

I loved the author’s An Unkindness of Magicians, so I hope I like this too

15.) A Sleight of Shadows by Kat Howard

This is the sequel to An Unkindness of Magicians, and I’m excited to learn more about this world. Not to mention, I love a book set in NYC.

16.) So Late in the Day by Clare Keegan

The family friend I read Tom Lake with got me a copy of this. I’m pretty sure they liked it, so I’ll give it a go!

17.) The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson

This was recommended to me by one friend, and then I found out another was reading it and loved it! It has come up in conversation a few times, so I am really looking forward to it, though I am afraid it will be sad.

18.) Dragon Speaker by Elana A. Mugdan

I started this recently and am excited to see where it is going. I have the whole series so looking forward to it!

Photo by Ines Sayadi on Unsplash

What I Read in 2024

Hi all, welcome to What I Read in 2024. I didn’t do monthly breakdowns this year, but I thought it would still be worthwhile to share what I read this year. However, because it’s a lot, I told myself I didn’t have to put in the cover photos, because that’s a lot of formatting work. So, my apologies that this isn’t visually stimulating, but I suppose it helps if you endeavor to not judge a book by it’s cover. This post is dedicated to Zach.

  1. The Memory of Babel by Christelle Dabos
  2. The Storm of Echoes by Christelle Dabos
    • Unfortunately these last two books in the Mirror Visitor series left me confused and dissatisfied. I coudn’t wrap my head around the echoes nor the God figure, and I kept wanting to leave the new world, and yet the majority of these books took place there.
  3. Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus
    • Such a good book. Surprising wit, and I love the idea of the night with the poison and half the country not eating the dinner. This book made me feel solidary with women despite the perceived differences between our time and the years the book took place.
  4. The Villa by Rachel Hawkins
    • I loved this book. It wasn’t scary, but made me think about working with friends and how disastrous that would be. This has come up multiple times for me this year, so I’m very grateful for the warning. Plus the Italian setting was very comforting.
  5. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
    • I’d tried to read this a few years ago and it was too dark. We read it for book club, and while it wasn’t life-changing, I respected the ending, and I think it’s an important frame for people who are feeling a little stuck or lost.
  6. Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney
    • I enjoyed the book, but it wasn’t my favorite. I think I might find it more engaging on-screen, but I haven’t decided to go watch it.
  7. Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall
  8. Husband Material by Alexis Hall
    • Boyfriend Material was super fun and I loved the self-deprecating tone. The Drag Race references were a riotous surprise, as I would read a name and crack up when I realized where it came from. The first book was great, though I found the second more of an effort to continue the story without adding anything new. It wasn’t as good to me. Overall, I remember when the main character’s friends came to help him clean his apartment, and I thought that was a wild definition of friendship, as I don’t think I would ever think to ask my friends to do that, but I would like if they were the type of friends that would if I did ask. That specifically made me consider a few things about my own friendships.
  9. Trial of the Sun Queen by Nisha J. Tuli
  10. Rule of the Aurora King by Nisha J. Tuli
    • I loved these. The first one was surprisingly nuanced, though I found the challenges themselves a bit lacking. I immediately (borrowed/found/bought) the second, and enjoyed it as well. Unfortunately I read these in January and the third book didn’t come out until October. I still haven’t read the third because I would likely have to reread the first two, and I haven’t gotten to that yet, but I’m glad it’s out!
  11. Tom Lake by Ann Patchett
    • This was recommended to me by a family friend, and I really enjoyed it. It’s not my usual style, but it was about an actress which I enjoyed, and part of the book took place during the pandemic, where the main character is telling her story to her daughters. The family friend who recommended it is a Mom, so we texted about our perspectives, and that certainly made me enjoy the book more. An important women’s rights issue came up as well, and I really appreciated the inclusion. Later this year, Tom Lake the play was on Broadway, so the family friend and I (and her family) went to see it. I’m really happy that the book also turned into an experience, and I’m happy my family friend and I have started to share out book recs!
  12. Outlive by Peter Attia, MD, and Bill Gifford.
    • Wow. This book really made me think about my own health, as well as the healthcare system. Given the time I am writing this (end of 2024), it is even more apparent to me how fucked up healthcare is, and I am really happy to have read this book. It made me consider fitness in a different way, as when I am 80, I would like to be able to lift my carry-on suitcase into the overhead bin on a flight by myself. I think I’ll end up rereading this a few years too, as it is a good reminder to take care of yourself and work to improve my lifestyle.
  13. Beyond the Wand by Tom Felton
    • This was surprisingly good. It chronicled not only his time working on Harry Potter, but also some intense personal struggles. The authenticity was appreciated, and the candid conversation made me respect Tom Felton for his courage. I would argue that his attitude when writing was a bit groundbreaking, and I am glad he wrote his truth because I can only imagine how impactful that can be for some readers.
  14. The Foxglove King by Hannah Whitten
    • I remember this being good, but I unfortunately can’t recall whether I finished it, or any other opinions.
  15. The Unbroken by C.L. Clark
  16. The Faithless by C.L. Clark
    • I enjoyed both of these, and the main character was refreshing. I remember enjoying parts of the word, though oppression and colonialism is not comfortable to read about, and parts of the power dynamics felt a bit outrageous and illogical. I wasn’t able to fully buy why certain circumstances couldn’t be talked through into a better solution. I didn’t end up reading the third book, but I can’t recall whether it wasn’t out, or if I just wasn’t interested enough.
  17. Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood
  18. Love on the Brain by Ali Hazelwood
    • These are so fun and comfortable. I adore the science aspects, and I wish there were more rom-com books with quirky scientists. I love every one of the STEM-Romances by Ali Hazelwood, and I wish there were more. They are absolute go-to’s and in addition to being warm and fuzzy they also address aspects of sexism in STEM, which is a delicate balance to achieve in a romance.
  19. The American Roommate Experiment by Elena Armas
    • I was on a bit of a romance kick, and while I didn’t adore the Spanish Love Deception, I liked it, so I gave the American Roommate Experiment a try. I think I liked it a little better, though I will stick with the word like.
  20. Queen Bee by Amalie Howard
    • A fun period book, which usually I stay away from. This felt more modern, and was enjoyable.
  21. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness
  22. Shadow of Night by Deborah Harkness
    • I really enjoyed a Discovery of Witches, but by the end (or middle, I’m not certain of finishing status) of Shadow of Night, the male main character was a drag, so I didn’t continue on with the series. I think I stumbled on these looking for book similar to Karen Marie Moning’s Fever Series, or at least they feel similar to me. Turns out, A Discovery of Witches is a TV show, and I started it in the Fall, months after reading these. The show was pretty good, an interesting style, but then the plot diverged from where I thought it was going to go, and I ended up losing interest. I’m not sure if the plot remained true to the books, and I’m not sure if I’ll pick up the show again. But there was definitely potential in both the books and show. My app says I borrowed the third book, but I don’t think I ever started it.
  23. The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy by Megan Bannen
    • This book was sweet, especially for being about undertakers! I enjoyed it and the world, and it wasn’t scary at all!
  24. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
    • This was one of my favorite books I read this year, and It showed up on some of the NYPL 2024 round up lists as well. I’m not at all a gamer, and don’t really engage with that world, so I’m not certain what drew me to this book. Perhaps I was expecting something a bit more sci-fi, but I loved what it ended up being. I would recommend this to gamers and non-gamers alike, and I think it did a great job highlighting two completely different people’s life struggles, and took on the complications of enduring friendships and infused each aspect with raw feelings and truth. This was a beyond beautiful book, and I imagine it will be adapted to the screen shortly. Lastly, the gaming aspect was very well done, and it made me understand the world a bit more, on both the consumer side and the theory.
  25. If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane
    • This was a good book, and I love a law office setting!
  26. Bride by Ali Hazelwood
    • This was Ali Hazelwood’s first foray into a fantasy realm, and while I wasn’t immediately drawn to the plot, I think I liked it. Unfortunately, I do not recall any details, but I know I enjoyed it because my attitude towards Ali Hazelwood has remained incredibly positive! One of my favorite Youtubers had this book on her shelf too, so I think it was well-received.
  27. You Made A Fool of Death with Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi
    • This was a beautiful story, and the settings and character development was very well done. I would recommend this, and it came up when I, later in the year, was looking for books like The Idea of You.
  28. Sword Catcher by Cassandra Clare
    • I was really excited about this book, and that excitement remains. I find the concept of the sword catcher very interesting, and I can’t wait to see how it plays out in the future – re: tested loyalty but how exactly? I was a huge fan of Clare’s other fantasy series (with an urban fantasy feel), so I was a bit disappointed that this one was fully fantasy, but that did not take away from my enjoyment. Additionally, the orphanage set-up in the beginning is a plotline I look forward to see continued in a later installment. There was a really good set-up for future intrigue.
  29. Immortal Longings by Chloe Gong
    • This was a really fun Hunger Games-esque book, where the main characters were participating for political reasons. I liked that both characters were strong, and the body-jumping is a really cool power. It reminds me of the book Starters, and the rules were simple enough that you feel like you can think of how the characters will get out of situations. I really enjoyed this book, and am looking forward to reading the sequel. Would definitely recommend!
  30. His and Hers by Alice Feeney
    • This was a book club book, and was a bit scary. I enjoyed it, while my two book club members adored it.
  31. Meet Me at The Lake by Carley Fortune
    • This was a good book, and I would recommend. It’s a bit of a beach read, but I remember loving some parts (a dock/canoeing scene maybe?)
  32. Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
    • I knew what this was about going into it (though I haven’t seen the film). The book was beautiful and sad, and made me consider what we would do or consider doing for the people we love.
  33. Flying Solo by Linda Holmes
    • This was a cute book that reminded me of this book The Postcard that I read when I was young enough to not fully understand it. Regardless, I want to find a secret wooden duck.
  34. Check and Mate by Ali Hazelwood
    • Yay Ali Hazelwood, and the chess aspect tied it to the TV show Queens Gambit for me, so I liked returning to the world of chess.
  35. A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
    • A friend said this was their favorite play, so I read it. I will now understand references to it, and I enjoyed the play through a feminist lens where the women knew how they were perceived and acted accordingly to manipulate those around them as best they could in the given circumstances. However, I don’t think Blanche was crazy. I’m not sure what the general opinion of this was
  36. Wrong Place Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister
    • This was a cool take on a murder mystery, and I like the way the true villain is revealed. This was a bit on the scarier side, and was a book club pick.
  37. Renegades by Marissa Meyer
  38. Archenemies by Marissa Meyer
  39. Supernova by Marissa Meyer
    • These were really good. I liked them more than Gilded and Cursed, and I like a good superhero world. It made me want to reread Powerless. Would recommend.
  40. Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman
    • A reread, is still one of my favorite books – highly recommend.
  41. Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins
  42. Spell Bound by Rachel Hawkins
  43. Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins
    • A reread because I read this series often as a kid, and they held up this time around! It’s cool that she wrote The Villa, because those are so different. It really shows the range of human creativity to me.
  44. Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby
    • I don’t know Samantha Irby, but this was hysterical! Would recommend.
  45. Pageboy by Elliot Page
    • This was a good book but very sad and slightly disturbing.
  46. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Santez
    • One of my best friend loved this book in high school, so I finally read it, and I really liked it. A few months later one of my students had it for school, and it was sad because she didn’t like it. I would recommend, and it opened up a new side to the human experience for me.
  47. Unfiltered by Lily Collins
    • I have to say, I expected more from this.
  48. School Spirits by Rachel Hawkins
    • This is a spin off of the Hex Hall series, but I don’t remember finishing it as a kid. To me, Hex Hall is much better, but I still wish this series had been continued. This was a little scary, not gonna lie.
  49. Galatea by Madeline Miller
    • Beautiful, but I have to say I was hoping for something much happier.
  50. The Soulmate Equation by Christina Lauren
    • Yay, a STEM romance novel! I liked this one a lot!!
  51. The Hotel Nantucket by Alin Hilderbrand
    • This was a fun read, and I loved all the characters who were so clearly defined.
  52. The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin
    • This was by the same author as Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. I liked this one a bit less, but it delivered a sweet and charming story about book lovers, with a bit of mystery thrown in. I like the nuanced cop character, and I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I recently (yesterday as of writing this) watched the movie, and it did a great job capturing the charm of the book. I liked seeing Lucy Hale’s portrayal of Amelia, and the Maya teenager was a good directorial choice.
  53. Things I Wish I Told My Mother by Susan Patterson and Susan DiLallo with James Patterson
    • This was a good book, though I unfortunately don’t remember much. I would recommend it.
  54. Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World by Benjamin Alire Santez
    • This was a good sequel!
  55. The House of Hidden Meanings by RuPaul
    • I was really excited about this book. While it did not disappoint, it was a bit darker than I’d anticipated. I also wish there had been more tie-in to today, and more about RuPaul’s husband and their relationship. However, I’m really glad this book was written.
  56. Bossypants by Tina Fey
    • This was a great read, and I loved Tina’s tone, though every once and a while I couldn’t tell if something was a joke or serious. What stuck the most was when she wrote about her male SNL co-workers peeing in cups/bottles and leaving them in their office. That is so disgusting to me, but is apparently way more common that I would’ve ever conceptualized.
  57. What The River Knows by Isabel Ibanez
    • This was a fun book, and I love Egypt so I wish there had been more on the archeological side. I enjoyed the way sexist was handled by the main character, and certain settings were incredible.
  58. The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune
    • This was recommended to me by a friend, and it was just as warm as they’d said. The main character is a wonderful, loving perspective, and I enjoyed the way the plot was written, as I never got stressed while reading. I know there is a sequel out now, but I think I am happy with leaving this book’s memory untouched.
  59. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green
    • This was a book club book, and it was enjoyable. I really appreciated the best friend relationship, and the honesty in it. I think it’s valuable to reevaluate how you may be perceived from a friendship lens every so often, and this book offered a new perspective for me.
  60. Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard
  61. Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard
  62. Kings Cage by Victoria Aveyard
  63. War Storm by Victoria Aveyard
    • I had previously tried to read this series but had stopped when it didn’t feel original. This time I forged onwards, and made it to the parts that made me want to keep reading. I particularly enjoyed the consideration of when you give up on a loved one, though I never finished the last book (I stopped at 66%).
  64. An Unkindness of Magicians by Kat Howard
    • This book was fabulous. The magic was unprecedented, and I loved reading about Bethesda Fountain, and then surprise! running by it the next day, for the first time knowing it. That made the fountain have a special association to me, and I can only imagine what it would’ve been like to read the book as a kid, and growing up near a magical site. I love books set in New York with hidden magic, so this was a delight I sped through. Though while I say delight, I mean that more for the New York and magic, as the book is a bit dark, and not exactly full of delights.
  65. The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan
    • A reread, possibly in response to or anticipation of the TV show, I cannot recall. Overall, I’d wanted to read a comfort book.
  66. The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel
    • This was a book club book, and I enjoyed the main female character and her justification for her choices. I appreciated the characters, and this book made me greatly fear being a victim of a pyramid scheme. Would recommend!
  67. The Partner Track by Helen Wan
    • I’d enjoyed the TV show, and when my friend told me it had been a book, I eagerly borrowed it. I really enjoyed the book, though I don’t recall one character being such a dick in the show. A really well done perspective on women and race in the workplace, which accurately captured feelings I have had (on the women side, though it can be applied to all marginalized groups).
  68. Funny Story by Emily Henry
    • I really liked this one. At first I didn’t think I would, but once the characters did some growing up, I was rooting for them.
  69. 10 Things that Never Happened by Alexis Hall
    • This was hysterical, and I loved the plot and characters. The plot was hysterical, and the characters were willfully flawed and it was really nice because they weren’t trying to change each other, more so approach each person with love. I thought it was a fun take on incompetent coworkers.
  70. The Blonde Identity by Ally Carter
    • I’d loved Ally Carter’s books as a kid so I was excited for this. With spies, amnesia, and secrets and twins, this reminded me of Mr. and Mrs. Smith with a little luck thrown in, and it was really well done.
  71. Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella
    • I liked this book, but haven’t ever been swept up by a Sophie Kinsella book. I know this is a movie now, and I think I’ll watch it someday!
  72. I am Number Four by Pittacus Lore
  73. The Power of Six by Pittacus Lore
  74. The Rise of Nine by Pittacus Lore
  75. The Fall of Five by Pittacus Lore
  76. The Revenge of Seven by Pittacus Lore
  77. The Fate of Ten by Pittacus Lore
  78. United as One by Pittacus Lore
    • I always thought I’d love this series, though I was worried about a lot of death. The series was incredibly engaging and creative, and I liked most of the twists and turns there was a betrayal and two deaths that I thought could’ve been better differently, but I think, at least in the case of the betrayal, that that is what marks a good betrayal; when the audience wishes it wasn’t so. The fight with the big bad wasn’t as nuanced as I would’ve liked, though his revealed backstory was well done.
  79. Rebel Girl by Kathleen Hanna
    • This was a great book, and made me think of how we as a society still don’t talk about nuanced sexism as much as we should. This was a great book, and made me consider my own identity and whether parts of it were right or wrong simply because they were impressed upon my by others. Highly recommend.
  80. Delirium by Lauren Oliver
  81. Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver
  82. Requiem by Lauren Oliver
    • This was a great dystopian series, and I liked the premise. Later in the series, the love triangle isn’t as well done as I’d hoped, but the plot makes up for it for me. There is one incredibly unsavory character who I would’ve liked sanitized a bit because I don’t love reading about the terrible things one human can do to another.
  83. A Court of Silver Flames by Sara J. Maas
    • A reread, one of my favorite books, and a kind of comfort read.
  84. The Stolen Heir by Holly Black
  85. The Prisoners Throne by Holly Black
    • This series was a great return to the world, and I liked the relationship between the two main characters. I do think the main character could’ve been flushed out a bit more, with stronger wants and needs in the beginning. I actually didn’t finish the second book, but I kept it on the list because it’s tied into the first one. I just think I wasn’t as invested in the outcome, because I could see the end working out.
  86. The Burnout by Sophie Kinsella
    • I really liked this Sophie Kinsella book. It was probably my favorite of hers, and this one was super fun because it talked about burnout which is very relatable. The main characters tries to do all these things that seem healthy and relaxing and they all kind of backfire, so it was a really funny read, and I liked that the solution wasn’t to change everything about yourself.
  87. You Should Smile More by Anastasia Ryan
    • This was a fun, light book, that accurately captured expectations women face in the workplace. Would recommend!
  88. Powerless by Lauren Roberts
  89. Reckless by Lauren Roberts
    • This was a rather unique series in my opinion because the main character had a secret to hide in a way that made her really smart, and less of a victim. I liked her thought processes, and I liked that it was a reverse of the chosen one trope. Both of these books were really engaging, and I find myself once again frustrated because the third book wasn’t out when I read them, so I’ll have to go back to catch up at some point. However, I don’t think I’ll mind because the plot had a lot to it, not simple superior/inferiority. I liked that that was also kind of flipped too, where the powerless are dangerous in their own way. I’m curious to find out why the lie that is the social narrative came about.
  90. The Last Russian Doll by Kristen Loesch
    • This was a book club book, and I really liked it because I had never learned about the Russian Revolution in school. This was fun for me because of the sociological influences, and the mystery aspect was compelling. This was actually one of the only dual timeline books where I haven’t wanted to completely skip one of the timelines in favor of the more interesting one. I will say that the doll factor was kind of really creepy, though it was a great metaphor. I will say the ending of the present day timeline was a bit predictable, but the way that everything tied together was not. Would recommend.
  91. A Promise of Fire by Amanda Bouchet
    • This was the first book in a series, though I never finished the other books. This was a rather light read, with the main character having very interesting powers. The romantic plotline left a lot to be desired because it was too predictable in my opinion. The politics were engaging, and I do wish I’d continued reading so I would know the ending.
  92. Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid
    • This was a great book. I liked the plot, and the characters were compelling. the one thing that bothered me was (spoiler alert!) that the main character’s career ended up following the same path despite the implication that there may not be one sort of soul mate. So if there isn’t one soul mate, why aren’t there different careers? I liked it because it echoes our lives, like how people can date and marry and divorce different people while following the same career path, but to me the book could have maybe been just as, if not more interesting, if the relationships ended up changing the career paths too. In a way that represents how different partners’ different ways of supporting someone could have different effects on a person’s choices. I’m not sure if I would’ve liked that better but I do think it is something worth exploring.
  93. The Book of Ivy by Amy Engel
  94. The Revolution of Ivy by Amy Engel
    • This series was a fun dystopian take on less grand future power struggles. I really enjoyed the way the main character found herself throughout the story, and there were a few plot twists that I really enjoyed. There was one scene in particular involving the neighbors and a roof that made me think about morals in a partner that I wish I would’ve had someone to discuss with.
  95. Wicked Games by MJ Scott
  96. Wicked Words by MJ Scott
    • This series is an Urban Fantasy gaming series, which I was drawn to in particular because I loved Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. I had been looing for urban fantasy book sin particular, and this series was very promising. While I never finished the third book, the first two were enjoyable, and I enjoyed the way the tech world interacted with the magical world. Unfortunately the romantic plotline left more to be desired, and I wish we would’ve had more world building on the magical side. Either way, I enjoyed these and may return to them one day.
  97. If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin
    • This was a book club book, and was pretty good, despite it not being my cup of tea. The heavy themes and unrelatable main character made it not my favorite, but the writing was good, and the plot was interesting. I also liked some of the characters, and the realistic portrayal of family dynamics.
  98. The Idea of You by Robinne Lee
    • I had read the back of this a while ago and hadn’t loved the idea, but for some reason I decided to pick it up, and once I did it was very hard to put down. The way parts of the middle and end of the story were hinted at kept me engaged, as I wanted to know how everything would shake out. I thought the story was quite beautiful, and I particularly enjoyed the depiction of fame, from a perspective that I had never considered/encountered before.
  99. Younger by Pamela Redmond
    • After reading the Idea of You, I searched for similar books, and this was recommended on the internet. While I wasn’t as drawn into the world as in The Idea of You, and I found the romantic plotline completely barebones (there was barely any interaction or dialogue or thinking about the relationship, it just somehow seemed to become love?), I really liked the way the author tackled ageism, and I think the themes would resonate with almost all women. I think about this every so often, and I’m really glad I read it!
  100. Happiness for Beginners by Katherine Center
    • I also found this through my search for books like The Idea of You. I enjoyed this one because of the main character’s journey, and all the characters were well done. Winnie, in particular I found, dropped incredible advice, and I have discussed it with many people. Overall, it was one of those mindsets where focusing on the good things that happened each day made you more aware of the good things in your life and thus made you happier. I think about this a lot, and I will one day watch the movie. However, there is a bit of sadness in this one that serves the audience well, but is unpleasant nonetheless.
  101. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi
  102. Unravel Me by Tahereh Mafi
  103. Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi
  104. Restore Me by Tahereh Mafi
  105. Defy Me by Tahereh Mafi
    • I had previously tried to read this series, but hadn’t been able to get into it. After seeing a convincing meme/post on Instagram, I decided to give it a go again. I liked it a lot more this time around, and both times I loved the plot and the main character’s power. I enjoyed the writing style A LOT, and I think it’s very interesting that the series is so popular with such a bold choice. I liked the series and the character’s development, except for one character who was overwhelmingly good in the first book and later becomes a huge asshole. I thought it was a bit too much and unrealistic. I also would’ve liked a slower character development for one of the love interests, because it felt too easy in my opinion. However, I didn’t get far in the last book in the series, because the plot gets really dark. Spoiler Alerts!!!: What happened to the sister is too dark for me, and the villains’ motivation isn’t believable to me. Also, someone came back to life after being thought dead and I found that unreasonable too. Overall this series was really good, though not perfect. I have always been very fond of the covers though, and I have to say the art is incredibly beautiful.
  106. Not in Love by Ali Hazelwood
    • Yay Ali Hazelwood! This one was a bit different from the usual STEM Romances, and I liked the way the characters grew from once sort of intimacy to another. The science in this one came in handy at a work thing, so I am grateful for the things I learned. I love how reading is so applicable to life, and I find that often, though usually on a less direct scale.
  107. The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo
    • I’m not sure what compelled me to pick this up, but I am glad I did. This is a very beautiful book, but it is also incredibly sad. It has gone into my mental pile of sad things, and I certainly cried a lot reading it. I would highly, highly recommend this book, and it is one of my favorite books I read this year. The love story was beautiful, but what really resonated with me was the discussion of boundaries. For example, one partner likes to do really big, romantic gestures like getting a dog or buying a house, but the main character didn’t like that, and felt like choices were being made for her. She would have rathered to be a part of finding the house, and getting to meet all the dogs before choosing one. She wanted to be a part of the experience, not just the outcome. I thought this was really interesting, and I’ve noticed this in media when a gesture is done that makes a choice for someone. I think it’s an interesting discussion of boundaries, in a way that we don’t really discuss often. There was also an interesting scene with intellectual property and boundaries, and it brought up how to consider the shared property of someone’s inspiring you.
  108. The Last Animal by Ramona Ausubel
    • I loved the science in this book, and that kept me the most engaged. The discussion of women in stem was also interesting, and there was a slight thriller element that kept me enthralled. The characters were a little weak to me, and their relationships could’ve been a bit better, but I really liked the environmental discussion, and this was a book I would recommend.
  109. Uprooted Naomi Novik
    • I loved Naomi Novik’s Deadly Education series, so I was excited to pick this up. This book was incredibly different, though I really enjoyed it. It reminded me of the book Gilded, and the base in Polish folklore was really interesting to me because it felt similar to some of the Czech stories I grew up with. I liked the main character, and her relationship with her best friend was really interesting to me. I though the romance could’ve been a bit more show don’t tell, but the plot was interesting, and the ending was satisfying.

Now we are a bit out of order due to different reading platforms, but I also read:

(also, sorry the formatting changed, wordpress isn’t that flexible!)

110. Crescent City House of Earth and Blood by Sara J. Maas

111. House of Sky and Breath by Sara J. Maas

112. House of Flame and Shadow by Sara J. Maas

113. The Serpent and the Wings of Night by Carissa Broadbent

114. The Ashes and the Star-Cursed King by Carissa Broadbent

  • These were really good fantasy books, that sort of mesh The Hunger Games and From Blood and Ash together. I might add a bit of the ACOTAR and Crescent City series’ in there too, and I really enjoyed the challenges and plot twists. Spoiler Alert, I didn’t love the twist with the father, though I know why it was necessary. The characters were really well done, and the world building didn’t leave much to be desired. Highly recommend.

115. Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

116. Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

  • I had put off reading these for a long time because I wanted to hold out until the third book was out, but I was at a point where I wanted a good fantasy book, so I decided to go for it. I really liked the series, but I think it may have been too hyped up for me. I kept waiting to be blown away, but I kept getting a really good book, not something mind-blowing. In terms of the dragon trend, I think the Fireborne trilogy was better, certainly in terms of politics. I liked the romantic relationship, especially how it came to be, and I thought it was a fun set up right off the bat. Like, I knew they would end up together, but I had no idea how they were going to get there. There were some really fun plot twists, though I did see one coming spoiler alert: with the brother. Still, this was a good two books, and I’m looking forward to reading them again before the next.

117. Heartless Hunter (The Crimson Moth) by Kristen Ciccarelli

  • I enjoyed the world of the book, and the way the main character works around the rules of the world in order to not get caught. I will say I was disappointed by the reveal of the villain, and it was something I had considered so it wasn’t a huge surprise, just a disappointing one. I also didn’t like the ‘best friend in love’ part, as I myself am so over that as a point of contention.

118. A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sara J. Maas

119. A Court of Mist and Fury by Sara J. Maas

120. A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sara J. Maas

121. A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sara J. Maas

122. A Court of Silver Flames by Sara J. Maas

  • I reread this series back in August, and the first three again in December. A comfort series, and I am always happy when a friend reads them for the first time!

In addition to these classic ‘books’, my friend also recommended a few book files to read, the first was The Right Thing to Do, which I adored. The other was Breath Mints and Battle Scars, which was also very good, but The Right Thing to Do was better. They both had great romance plotlines.

And that is what I read this year! I don’t think as much as last year, although this year had so so many books that I read 17% of or 38% or 55%. I just find myself getting frustrated easily, especially in the romance and fantasy genres. If something is too obvious or not well done, I do not want to keep going.

That’s all for now, but I will be back soon with the books I plan to read in 2025. Hope you all had a good year of reading, and feel free to send me any book recs!

Photo by Jonathan Francisca on Unsplash

What I Read in December 2023

(Much less than usual as I watched A LOT of Drag Race!!)

Hi all, I hope everyone is enjoying the last few days of the year! It’s time for me to share what I’ve read in December, so here goes! P.S. I did start many books that I didn’t finish, so this may be a shorter list than usual!

1.) The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna.

Full stop, this book was so cute. It was super light in tone, and left me with a warm and fuzzy feeling every time I put it down. I am a huge fan of this one, and it helped me come up with my Christmas present for my Mom this year, so I lend it a lot of credit for that! Very charming, and after I finished it I looked up “books like the very secret society of irregular witches”, because I wanted to read something else just like it! If that’s not high praise, I don’t know what is!

2.) Wings by E.D. Baker.

With full transparency, this was a book I’d read as a kid that I think about every so often. It popped up into my head, and I wondered if I could find it again! I have the Barnes and Noble Nook app, so through that I found it on my Nook, and then was able to read it on my phone. This held up pretty well as an adult, and I loved running into small details that I either remembered or had forgotten! While I think the beginning of this book was a little frightening as a kid, it had me hooked back then, and once again I wanted to see what happened at the end!

3.) Empire of Sand by Tasha Suri.

This book started off really strong, and I was immediately drawn into the world. I had started it about a month ago but had other things to read, so when I borrowed this one again, I was excited to see where it would go. However, the entire middle of the book felt incredibly drawn out, and I started getting really bored when there weren’t any twists. I kept waiting for something to change, but even when it came it was a bit disappointing. The majority of the book was in one location, and the climax didn’t build in the right way for me. I did finish the book, and there was potential at the end that I liked, but I decided against reading the second book.

4.) They Wish They Were Us by Jessica Goodman.

This was a very well done mix of Pretty Little Liars and One of Us is Lying. With a secret society, lots of hazing, and a murder to solve, I am excited for this as a TV show/Movie. I saw that Sydney Sweeney had bought the rights, and I believe Halsey will be involved in the project so I am excited about that. The book was gripping, and I was also kind of repulsed and scared to pick it up each time, because of the hazing and the murder suspense, respectively. Would recommend, though it did do anything groundbreaking.

5.) Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

I read this in book club, and had high hopes, given that my friend who is the slowest reader of us, finished it in a day and LOVED it. The book did not disappoint, and I can’t decide if I like this or The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo more (they are by the same author). I am definitely a Taylor Jenkins Reid fan, and I think she has a way of writing flawed characters that is very unique. No one is perfect, and this book did a great job building each character. This one differed from Evelyn Hugo because it had a really important family dynamic, that I think each of my friends and I really related to. Additionally, the story was set in the past, yet it didn’t make me feel like it was an antiquated world. Highly recommend!!!

6.) A Winter’s Promise by Christelle Dabos.

This is the first book in a fantasy series called the Mirror Visitor series. It was originally written in French, and with regards to media flow, I am impressed that it landed in my hands! And I am so glad it did! While the book started off feeling a little grey and detached, an animated scarf (animated with life and movement fyi) drew me in, and added a sense of coziness that endeared the book to me. While I was expecting a stronger romance aspect, I was happy that it is either very slow-burn or not happening, because I was able to get to know the world and that main character very well. With regards to the fantasy aspect, it is a bit like Caraval mixed with the Hunger Games, in that some of the characters are wild and unexpected. I also am a fan of the magic system, where different countries have different powers. While I felt like the main character had a longer adjustment period to the ‘new world’ than I would have liked, looking back I think that it makes sense for the character, and doesn’t detract from my enjoyment at all. It is just something to be aware of if you decide to pick it up! Also, I would like to note that the cover art reminds me of The Mysterious Benedict Society’s cover art.

The Missing of Clairedelune by Christelle Dabos.

This is the second book in the Mirror Visitor series, and I am about halfway through at the moment. I am very much enjoying where this second book has gone, with many key characters sticking around and/or coming back, despite the plot twists and location changes. Thus I am more familiar with most of the characters, and am enjoying getting to know them more, rather than meeting new characters that aren’t flushed out all the time. I am really enjoying this book, and the world/time period makes me feel very cozy and comfortable. I am also excited about where the plot is going, with regards to the disgraced, and the main character being familiar to a deity figure. I am really happy with this series, and I think it’ll probably be something I’ll reread in the future. I would definitely recommend these!

And that is all. While reviewing this, I found that there are 8 books from December that I started to read and stopped, or have not yet finished. I hope I can read more in January!

Hope this passed along a few good recommendations! Happy New Year!

Cover Photo by Sadie (xoxostrawberries__) on Pinterest

Holiday Gift Guide for an early Twenty-Something

Hi Everyone!

It’s that time of year where people ask you want you want for Christmas or Hanukkah, or when you are looking for something to get your friends or family, or when you are in Secret Santa and need to provide a list of things you may like. Being a twenty-something on both sides of this, I thought I’d make a list of things that I am either getting for someone, or things that I myself would like to receive (with some variety thrown in for different tastes).

The twenty-something age group is a but tricky because in my experience, people want more practical gifts (re:money), but that’s not exactly a good answer when someone wants to know what to get you, or when you are looking for something to get for a friend. I have found a few things that I think are both useful and good gifts in general, so I hope this helps anyone needing some ideas!

Disclaimer: I am a woman so some of these are slightly more woman-applicable, and some of these cater more towards my taste. Also, this is not paid/advertising, just my personal thoughts and opinions.

1. A bluetooth photo printer for your phone. This is super useful for people who love to have photos of their friends or family on their walls! I think most people could use this little printer, and you could always get them film for it next year! Also most of these printers print on sticker paper, so someone could put a photo on their water bottle or laptop!

2. A class. Whether your friend wants to learn to dance, do karate, sing, paint, or blow glass, there are tons of fun classes out there for any interest! This is also pretty flexible price wise, because a paint-sip class is pretty affordable, while a pack of pilates classes can get pretty expensive. This works for any interest, and you could always do the class together, making it a fun bonding activity too!

3. A nice journal. Trust me, you can never have enough journals. Show your loved one you know them by choosing their favorite color palette or design. And feel free to write a nice note on the first page, so they have a sweet message from you every time they open it. Luckily journals can range in price, so there are options for every budget!

4. Kitchenware! For this, I’d recommend either these awesome flower spoons, flower bowls, or shell serving piece. If your loved one stirs coffee or eats yogurt, the spoons may be a huge hit! If they eat ice cream or pickles (I was picturing pickle chip when I said this), the bowls may be a win! And if your loved one hates flowers, (sorry, all of my links seem to be floral), this cool shell serving piece would be cool for someone who likes to host, as you could put a roast in here, or chips, whichever!

5. A terrarium! I saw some really cute terrariums in Union Square’s Christmas market, and then I saw this one online! You could find ones of any style, whether someone prefers modern decor, or a more earthy style. Just look up modern sleek terrarium or mushroom terrarium! This is great for a twenty-something who needs more plants in their home, and this is a plant that someone wouldn’t need to purchase a pot for.

6. A nice hoodie. Specifically, my Aunt and cousin wore matching Alo Yoga sweatshirts over the Thanksgiving holiday, so if you have a loved one who is into athleisure, these may be something they’ve been eyeing! Plus the liquid silver logo is pretty cool.

If you’re looking for something in a smaller price range:

1. Cute magnets. A set of magnets can also be super personalized, and if someone does like to print photos, now they can hang them on their fridge! If your loved one does not have a magnetized fridge, but would hang up photos, cute push pins could be the answer.

2. I saw this kind of hair tinsel yesterday at Bryant park, and I loved it. It brought me back to the feather trend of my youth. I think it will be perfect for New Years, and I am strongly considering getting some for myself! It would be immediately applicable, or if your loved one is in university, get them some in their school colors, and I promise it will be a hit for gamedays!

3. Sticky gems. For a friend/family member who is into arts and crafts or makeup, these could be fun, and could also be used for a gameday or New Years! They are also something you could add to a gift if you wanted a little something extra for someone.

4. Hair accessories. From claw clips to unique hair pins, these are functional and can be rather personalized. Below are ones I find cute!

5. Earmuffs! I asked for a pair for Secret Santa a few years ago, and let me tell you: SO cute and cozy! And I can put earbuds under them if I want to listen to music while I am in the great outdoors! These a great winter gift, and while writing this, I am thinking about fun colored earmuffs, which would be so cute if I had a matching coat. So if you have a friend with a pastel puffer, a matching pair of earmuffs would show them you pay attention!

6. A travel light up mirror. I have a large light up mirror that I do my makeup in, but when I travel, that’s not something I could bring. This is a great solution, and useful for people who don’t wear makeup, as they may need to pluck their eyebrows or put in their contacts on-the-go. The one linked is also a portable charger!

Photo by Tetiana Shadrina on Unsplash

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER | @LGNWVR on Unsplash

What I Read in October + November

First of all, I would like to apologize for not posting what I read in October! I thought I had for some reason, but then when I was looking for it, turns out I never made it further than a draft! So two months at once, let’s go!

October:

1.) A Fate of Wrath and Flame by K.A. Tucker

Enjoyable series, though there’s a connection to our world that was more confusing than it needed to be. Reminded me of the From Blood and Ask series, and I’m really excited to read the third book.

2.) Beach Read by Emily Henry

Love an Emily Henry. This one had a few darker moments, but was still very light and heartwarming overall!

3.) Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

Read this with my Book Club, and was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it. It’s short and an easy read, and does a great job taking the reader through the emotions of someone you love dying. Lots of wisdom, and I wish this was something they’d made us read in school; I know some people had to.

4.) The Defining Decade by Meg Jay

This was recommended to me by a friend, and I wrote down so many points of wisdom while reading this! It’s a psychologist’s discussion of how important your twenties are, and I resonated a lot with it! Would highly recommend to other recent graduates, as well as anyone feeling a little lost in life.

5.) When Women Were Dragons by Kelly Barnhill

This was our next Book Club read, and I may or may not have read ahead and finished it early! The story really drew me in from the start, and though it felt like fantasy in the beginning, the ending was more non-traditional for fantasy, and I think it read more like realistic fiction. That being said, it was a fabulous metaphor, and is a fun piece of feminist literature for sure.

6.) A Curse of Blood and Stone by K.A. Tucker

This was book 2 of the series above, and I enjoyed the story progression. It ended on a cliffhanger that will either be great, or will feel like an easy answer, so I’ll have to wait and see!

7.) Fireborne by Rosaria Munda

This book was amazing. Hands down, I text-yelled at a friend to read it with me so we could discuss. In addition to being well written with a unique set-up for the two main characters, the questions of government, equality and leadership were fabulous. I couldn’t tell who was in the right some of the time, and it was such an interesting social structure. I arguable would say it could be put into a utopic literature class, because the questions I had about the society were the same as for Plato’s Republic, Brave New World, etc. I loved this book, and I think it will become popular really soon. I haven’t read it yet, but the book world has been loving Iron Flame, and this is another fantasy series with dragons, so I can only wait to see it blow up on social media.

8.) People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry

Yes, I love an Emily Henry, but this was my least favorite thus far. The chapters kept switching between past and present, and I actually got annoyed because I wanted to know what was happening in larger chunks, rather than constantly having to remember where the character’s relationship is. Still good, but I definitely wanted to skip flashbacks after a while because I’d gotten the point.

9.)Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

This is more self-helpy than fun, but I was very interested in learning more about Shonda Rhimes herself, as well as her quest to say yes. I really saw myself in this book, and took away a few nuggets of wisdom,

10.)The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I’d heard many good things about The Alchemist, but didn’t find it as profound as I’d hoped. Just not for me!

11.) One Dark Window by Rachel Gillig

This book was amazing. I was a little nervous it would be scary based on the cover and back cover summary, but it was not! The idea of another consciousness in your head like this could have been creepy, but in this case it was so cool, as I’d thought about a similar situation for a book a few years back! However, the cards that give their wielders specific powers with some intense side-effects were entirely unique to me, and I absolutely loved it! The cards in particular were so so well thought out.

12.) Two Twisted Crowns by Rachel Gillig

I loved the first book so much that instead of having to wait for the second book, I bought it! A great conclusion, and I wish this was a much longer series.

13.) I also re-read the entire Court of Thorns and Roses series (5 books)

What can I say? One of the best series I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, so I felt like re-reading!

November.

1.) Flamefall by Rosaria Munda

So so good! I was a bit worried that the sequel wouldn’t be as good, but it did not disappoint! It introduced a new form of government, that helped me answer some of my questions from the first book! A good take on conquered peoples as well.

2.) Furysong by Rosaria Munda

Probably my least favorite of the 3 because things got so serious and complicated that the book felt rather heavy to read, but a fabulous series that I would recommend to everyone

3.) House of Salt and Sorrows by Erin A Craig

I really enjoyed this book, though all of a sudden it was more of a thriller than fantasy, and I found myself getting a little creeped out, and a tad confused. However, it was fun and had a distinctive feel to it, so I could picture the world very easily!

4.) House of Roots and Ruin by Erin A Craig

This book was also more thriller than fantasy, but I wasn’t too scared by the first book, so I gave this one a go! Sadly I liked it less, as there were a few twists at the end that I didn’t love, but the book was not disappointing, and was a good way to explore the world more. I will say the main antagonist was more disturbed this time around though, so more creepy, though I knew it was coming this time!

5.) To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

This was a fun take on the little mermaid, where the mermaid is a ruthless killer. However, that (spoiler alert) changes throughout the story, so it was easy to see what was going to occur. The world building was pretty good, though I thought the prince character was a little lacking.

6.) Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross

A hate-to-love type, though not exceptionally unique in my opinion. An unusual twist near the end though, and I liked the magic type-writer! However, I don’t think I will read the second/other books.

7.) Magyk by Angie Sage (the Septimus Heap series)

I read this series as a kid, and thought it was high time to see if it stood up as an adult. It absolutely did, and I would put them among the Harry Potters/Keeper of the Lost Cities/Percy Jacksons! So so enjoyable, and very whimsical, though in a very consistent way! A very unique take on multiple perspectives, which I wasn’t able to appreciate until now! SO GOOD!

8.) Flyte by Angie Sage (the Septimus Heap series)

9.) Physik by Angie Sage (the Septimus Heap series)

10.) Queste by Angie Sage (the Septimus Heap series)

11.) Syren by Angie Sage (the Septimus Heap series)

12.) Darke by Angie Sage (the Septimus Heap series)

13.) And I’m in the middle of Fyre, the last book in the Septimus Heap series!

I actual never read this one as a kid, thinking the series stopped at Darke, so it’s exciting, but it is also trying to wrap everything up, so there’s a bit more focus on the interpersonal rather than adventure, and there haven’t been many new characters so far.

Photo by Valdemaras D. on Unsplash

What I Actually Read in September 2023!

Hi all, happy October! I hope everyone is enjoying the fall atmosphere! First off, this is a few days into October, so my apologies. Also, because I read so much in September, I’ve decided to post my October reading list separately. Now without further ado:

From my September reading list, I read two of the books I had planned to, though I started a few others. But given that most of the books I read were not on my list, I’ll just go through them regardless of September list status. Warning: spoiler alerts abound.

1.) Cursed

The first book I read I technically finished in August, but I read Cursed by Marissa Meyer. The book was good, and it wasn’t too hard to remember the world from when I’d read the first book. There was a good twist in it, with the tree Grandma lady whose name I am completely forgetting, and I was satisfied with my reading experience.

2.) Ninth House

I read Ninth House, which I’d previously started then abandoned. However, it was not too hard to get through, and I liked the mystery about the main character’s past. This is a series, so I will unfortunately have to wait for the next books, though I’m not too upset about it because my anticipation isn’t that high.

3.) We Were Dreamers

I read We Were Dreamers by Simu Liu, which I LOVED. This book was super interesting, from Simu’s career path as an actor, to his family life, to his experiences as an immigrant. I would highly recommend it, and though there were a few very dark memories, overall the book felt rather light, and I was left wanting more from Simu as a writer. I think it also inspired me to learn more about immigrant experiences, because it stoked the international relations major in me, as I love learning about different cultures and how they interact.

4.) A Deadly Education

I read A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik, which was fabulous. I sometimes struggle with world building for fantasy worlds, but this one was very good. It felt to me like a cross between The Maze Runner and Harry Potter, and I enjoyed the nuances in all of the main characters. I was very excited that this was a series, and I promptly read:

5.) The Last Graduate

The Last Graduate (book 2), and

6.) The Golden Enclaves

The series kept me intrigued, and I though everything was tied into the world very nicely. Nothing felt like it was out of left field, and some of the concept was very interesting. Even a month later I keep going back to the idea of the Maw Mouths, a monster that is a fascinating concept, specifically later in the series. For those interested SPOILER ALERT, I liked the idea of the Maw Mouths being hungry because they were created by people’s desire for safety. It was both disturbing and fascinating, and I think it is a really interesting justification for creating monsters. I enjoyed this series so much that I experimented with audio books so that I could walk and read. While that was more enjoyable than I’d expected, it made me notice a few flaws in the main character’s characterization in the last book, which she felt a bit pigeonholed into her naturally angry demeanor. I’m not sure I would have felt that way if I hadn’t hear the tone of the reader, so I suppose I will have to wait for a friend to read the series to ask them if they felt the same. Either way, very well done, and I would highly recommend this series for any dark academia fan!

7.) Save Yourself by Cameron Esposito

I read this book because Cameron actually came to my university to speak on an Arts panel, and I wanted to learn more about her story. The book talked a lot about identity and sexuality, but also discussed the comedy world very well. I would recommend this to people looking for queer media, or those interested in comedy. Cameron also talked a lot about her Catholic upbringing, which was very interesting to me, and added a lot of humor to the story.

8.) Under Construction by Chrishell Stause

I clearly started watching Selling Sunset in September, and when I looked up a few of the people, I saw that Chrishell had written a book. Her story is very interesting, from growing up in poverty to being on a soap opera to working in luxury real estate, and I wanted to learn more about her life! This book was a breeze, and while it was short, it was engaging and I enjoyed learning more about someone who I see on TV as a reality character.

9.) Gone Girl

The only reason I wasn’t afraid to pick up Gone Girl, (spoiler ahead), was because one of the people on Selling Sunset mentioned how they too would probably frame their husband for murder if they were to become a trophy-type housewife. That storyline appealed to me, so I picked it up despite it being labeled a thriller. I had also never seen the movie so I wasn’t sure what I was getting into, but I really enjoyed the twist with Amy’s part of view halfway through, where (spoiler alert), Amy isn’t a cool girl, and only wrote that way to frame Nick. While there were two scenes/plot points that did scare me/freak me out, (spoiler alert: when Amy got robbed and Desi’s safehouse) and one very disturbing part that still haunts me, I finished the book and really enjoyed it. It also started to become very funny to me, and while I’m not set on watching the film, I would recommend the book.

10.) We Were Liars

After reading Gone Girl I wanted something similar, so I borrowed We Were Liars. I believe it is a TV show, which I haven’t seen, but I was hoping it would be good. I enjoyed the mystery surrounding the previous summers, and really liked the family dynamic. It reminded me of Dynasty and a bit of my own family, though not to such an extreme. However, the ending was really (spoiler alert) sad, as the dogs and her friends were dead and I didn’t much enjoy it, because it made the whole story feel kind of obsolete, as the friends had been hallucinated the whole summer. However, I think people might enjoy it because of the curveball, so I would be interested in discussing this with others. The story and writing of such a mystery was well done, and I would be interested in a sequel, had it not ended the way it did.

11.) I Kissed Shara Wheeler

This to me was a teen version of Gone Girl. It was well done, and I enjoyed that I could figure out the mystery. However, I felt that the main character’s motivations were a bit contrived, as she (spoiler alert) only wanted to find Shara so she would fairly be Valedictorian (really?), and thus I felt a bit detached from the investigation. I did like the ending a lot, regarding Shara Wheeler, and there were interesting themes surrounding private schools that are important today, yet I did not see the twist coming. Additionally, this takes place at a conservative school in a conservative town, and the author wrote from experience which was very educational and interesting.

12.) Shine by Jessica Jung.

This book was kind of teen-y in the plot, but I was very interested because it was written by a Kpop idol, and talked a lot about the industry, which I find fascinating.

13.) Bright by Jessica Jung

This was the sequel, and I enjoyed how the romance plot did not go the way I had expected, especially after the first book. This series was light and enjoyable, and I would recommend them to anyone interested in Kpop/being a singer/stardom.

14.) Caraval by Stephanie Garber.

This book had been on my list for a while, though I’d been putting it off because I was afraid it would be scary. While the cover does say “remember it’s only a game”, the book did not go off into horror movie territory, and instead felt like a junior version of The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern to me. While I enjoyed the book, I struggled with it because I had loved The Night Circus, and Caraval just couldn’t compare in my opinion. Additionally, there’s a standoff in the book near the end that was really frustrating to me, and it made me really dislike the sister character. However, the next books focus more on the sister, so I am incredibly reluctant to read them. I talked about Caraval with a friend who mentioned she really enjoyed the later books, and she technically convinced me to give them a try. However I don’t have any interested in that at this moment, so we’ll see if I ever do continue with the series.

15.) House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas

I finally started the Crescent City series, and it was really nice to read a familiar style, especially after my disappointment with Caraval. I had had many glowing review from friends, so I was really excited about the series. SPOILERS AHEAD: Right off the bat I loved how the main character started with a group of friends, which was something lacking in other Maas books. It gave the character a great home base, and helped establish her life in the universe. I also really liked the world building, because it was a fusion of magic and technology, with governmental issues and history that was very easy to understand, because it felt familiar to our world. While I really enjoyed the book and am very excited for the whole series, there was a huge tragedy a few chapters in, which made my reading experience much more unhappy. To be frank, I had been very excited about Bryce having friends, and then all the friends die. That was such a flip for me, and was rather heartbreaking because I had been so excited about those characters and their dynamics. However, the book was very good, and the showdown at the end was very well done, and set up the next book perfectly. Additionally, I enjoyed how at the beginning, Bryce felt very normal, and wasn’t some secret chosen one or something. While this did change a bit, her magical powers weren’t a stroke of luck or chance or something, but was rather a result of the character’s choices, which I really appreciated.

16.) House of Sky and Breath (book 2)

I did wait about a week in between these books to try to space out my consumption of guaranteed good writing, but I quickly gave in to temptation because (spoiler alert) I’d heard there was a crossover between ACOTAR and Crescent City. I didn’t know anything else, but I was really excited. The second book did a great job picking up where the first left off, and expanding on the world, particularly with the involvement of Hel. I have a few theories about this, and it was done in a way that we know a twist is coming. To be frank, SPOILER ALERT, my friend and I (we read the book at the same time) were cracking up about about the plot point that the great prince of Hel or whatever wanted to fight Bryce, but wanted her to train and get stronger so it was a fair fight. What an absolute load of bullshit, which was funny but also annoying because it made no sense. While I enjoyed the book overall, it became clear to me that there is not much growth to do with the main couple. This makes me a bit sad because ACOTAR was so drawn out, making it much more enjoyable. However, the ending threw a good wrench in, so that at least gives me hope for better romantic plots for Bryce and Hunt in the future. Another criticism I have is about Danika, the dead best friend. This book drew on Danika’s secrets to keep the plot going, which I found annoying. In the beginning, Bryce and Danika were super close, and now there are so many secrets between them, which undermines their whole relationship. And to add on to that, Danika is dead twice, which means they won’t be able to repair the broken trust, which makes me feel bad for Bryce, but also makes me frustrated that the plot devices keep being these secrets. One was enough, but now it feels like Bryce and Danika’s friendship was a whole lie, just to create the emotionally-angsty plot points. I suppose it feel overdone, as there are many other ways for the characters to find out hidden information, rather than Danika just being this all-knowing dead liar. Anyways, the ending reveal about the Asteri was interesting, and reminded me of The 100 and the From Blood and Ash series. And lastly, I had been waiting the whole book for the ACOTAR crossover, and it finally happened, for a total of five seconds. Let’s just say January needs to come faster, though more because I’m interested in the ACOTAR characters, less so about the Crescent City characters. Thinking on it now, I enjoyed the books, but not as much as my friends who loved them, which makes me a bit sad.

17.) It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

I knew absolutely nothing about this book going in, only that is was very popular on TikTok, and that a girl who had the dance class after mine last semester would walk around reading it. Like walking up the hill while reading. So, while I enjoyed the book, SPOILER ALERT, it was a big surprise to me that it was a story about domestic violence. The story was very well done, and while it was heavy, I promptly picked up:

18.) It Starts With Us (book 2)

Because I wanted to get to the happier side of the story. Overall, the series was really interesting, because it does a good job answering the “why not just leave” question, about those in violent relationships. it them goes further and talks about living with an abuser in one’s life. The first book in particular tackled a lot of ugly truths, with the characters being complex and not one-dimensional, meaning that (spoiler alert) the struggle between love and knowing that the abuse is wrong. A well done series, but it also left me feeling gross (as I’m sure most would feel after reading a poignant story about abuse).

19.) Normal People by Sally Rooney

This book had been on my list for a while, and it too was given glowing recommendations by friends. The only thing I knew going in was that my Aunt ? and I had tried to watch the TV show a few years ago, and had only gotten 10 minutes in because it was very grey and I didn’t want to keep watching. Reading the book felt very grey to me too, and while it was a story about love, mixed with growing up and mental health, I felt detached from the characters, and never felt particularly invested in them. Additionally, there’s a scene (spoiler alert) with Marianne and a photographer (whose name I don’t remember), which made me feel gross but was never given closure in the story. However, I did like the mental health aspect, and there was a scene (spoiler alert) when Connell was depressed and lying on the floor which was when I felt most connected and related to the story. This book wasn’t necessarily for me, though I’m excited to talk to more friends about why they enjoyed it so much.

20.) Happy Place

After that slew of depressing, realistic fiction books, I wanted happy books, so I read Happy Place by Emily Henry. I’m a big fan of hers, and while this wasn’t my favorite, I like the complexities in the characters, in a way that (spoiler alert) I knew they were going to get back together, but I didn’t want them to. However, I do feel like there should’ve been more foreshadowing about (spoiler alert) the main character quitting her career path.

21.) The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson

This had been recommended to me a few years ago, and after giving it a try, I thought, “not giving a fuck is not for me”, and I stopped it. However, I decided to give it a go given that I am now a bit more mature, and wanted another self-help book. I felt more willing to give it a chance, even if there were a few hard truths in there that I didn’t like. This time around I didn’t at all feel like ‘this isn’t a mindset for me’, and I really liked the book. It went quicker than expected, especially because I am currently slogging through 3 other self-help books at the moment and I was able to start and finish this one without getting annoyed and not touching it for a week. Instead, I finished it in I believe two days, and took many screenshots of valuable notes. Overall, I liked this mindset, and am trying to implement it into my own thought patterns. Highly recommend!

22.) Same Time Next Summer

Next, technically in October, I read Same Time Next Summer by Annabel Monaghan, which is an Emily Henry-esque realistic romance. Light and summery, and enjoyable! I particularly enjoyed the family dynamic of the main character, and the parents were really interesting because they were artsy and creative, and the main character slightly struggled with not wanting to feel embarrassed of them in front of her cookie-cutter fiancé. I thought that was a fun characterization for parent characters.

23.) Crying in H Mart

The last book on this list I finished October 3rd. I read Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner, which I’d seen on some book lists a little while ago. It came up on my library app, and I started it without knowing anything about it or the author. It became clear a few pages in that the book was a memoir of Michelle’s Mom, who had died of cancer. While I knew that it wasn’t going to be a fun book to read, I stuck with it because I have a fear (which I think is normal) of losing my own mother to cancer. So, while the book was sad, I think it was a very valuable thing to read, because never before had I been exposed to what it was like losing a loved one, or even dealing with taking care of someone going through chemo. Overall, I enjoyed the book as much as one can enjoy a book about losing your Mom to cancer, though I do think there were a few too many recipes for me. The book describes a lot of food, which I unfortunately wasn’t always able to picture, given that I am a vegetarian without any direct ties to Korean cuisine. So while I knew a few of the foods from media I’ve consumed, or from personal experience, once we got to the recipe descriptions, I was not a fan. The regular food descriptions were engaging, especially at the beginning, because of how they related to the mother-daughter relationship, but the recipes specifically felt like too much for me. My other thoughts were 1.) I could’ve used more description to understand how Kye was cold. To me that felt like a more tell than a show, and thus I wasn’t able to grasp exactly how Michelle felt about Kye. 2.) I really liked the relationship Michelle discussed with her final Aunt, because it discussed family ties, even when you can’t communicate well. I think many people can relate to the odd family loyalty despite not agreeing with or not understanding their way of life, so while this was literal not understanding, I thought it was evocative and made me think. Lastly, it turns out that the Author is the lead of the band Japanese Breakfast, which I did not know until the end of the story. While I haven’t actively listened to Japanese Breakfast, I thought that added and interesting layer to the book, and I thought it was a very brave thing to put out into the world. Many thoughts because this was the most recent book I’ve finished, and I’m excited to discuss it with a friend soon!

So, that is the many books I read in September, due to personal things I’ve had a lot more downtime and a desire to escape into a book, so I think I’ll go back to a more normal reading amount for October. Stay tuned for that list!

Hope you are well!

September Reading List + What I Actually Read in August

Hello everyone, it’s the end of August, which means it’s time for a reading wrap-up! Out of the books on August reading list, I hit 4 of the 9 bullets, and I read one book that wasn’t technically on the list which comes to 14 books!

Up first I read Our Violent Ends, which didn’t exactly answer the questions I had from the first book, but did a really great job wrapping up the world and the story. I really enjoyed it!

Then I started reading the Kingdom Keepers series, and though I thought I had gotten far as a kid, I think I actually only read 3 or 4 of them. I made it through the first two before taking a break and pivoting to:

The Percy Jackson series! I was really getting in the mood for vacation so I decided to read these sooner than expected, and it was So lovely. I know the stories really well so I didn’t have to figure anything out or try to predict the ending. They’re a fabulous light read that made me feel so comfortable, which was perfect for going home and being on vacation!

I also read the Heroes of Olympus series, which likewise is comfortable and perfect for reminding me of childhood! The last one is a tiny bit of a let down, simply because you spent 5 books awaiting a showdown that lasts a few chapters. Personally I prefer how the Percy Jackson series’ 5th book spent a lot of time/pages on the main event. Either way, still a great read, specifically the first two which I know really well!

After that I actually read The Sun and the Star, the Nico di Angelo spin-off in the Percy Jackson universe.

(Opinions/Spoilers ahead!) I had been really excited for it because Nico was such a great character, and I remember enjoying his and Will’s relationship in the Trials of Apollo series which I finally read a few years ago. However, the book was a bit of a disappointment because the tone felt off to me. There was another author involved which could’ve been the case, but to me it felt more like it was written in the perspective of Percy or Jason or Hazel, not from a uniquely Nico tone. There were a few jokes in there that felt completely off character to me, and if felt sort of overly emotional. Of course the other Percy Jackson or Heroes of Olympus books had emotions and inter-personal communication in them, but it felt like this book was more about that than the adventure. I understand why that choice was made, but it felt off to me, and I think it would’ve been more enjoyable if the emotional distress was more slowly and subtly revealed, not just thrown at you with the excuse of the plot to discuss it. While I enjoyed a few aspects of the book, a few other characters felt too joke-y, and it messed with the Nico tone I’d expected. Lastly, there were these dream sequences worked in, which I felt were really extra. It would’ve been better in my opinion if they were much shorter, especially because you know as a reader that it’s not real, so it’s annoying to have to wait to get back to reality, and the issues of reality. A short nightmare could’ve accomplished just as much in my opinion. Now actually lastly, there were a few really funny references to pop culture worked in, which I thought were really funny!

And that’s what I read this month! Not too much, but it was nice to spend a prolonged amount of time in the PJO world! It made me really want to go back and reread a bunch of other beloved childhood series’! With so much change going on around me, it’s nice to look back and connect to my past self! Lastly, while I’m a bit sad I didn’t to the Crescent City series, I am glad to have that to look forward to in the future while we await new releases in Sarah J. Maas’s series’.

Now for September! Given that I didn’t read too many of the books on my list for August, this list is short with a few repeats from last month!

1.) Cursed

It’s time to get this off my waiting list!

2.) Mastery

Getting back into work stuff makes me really want to read a practical book that I can count as doing something work-related! Really excited for this one!

3.) Kingdom Keepers 3-7

Sadly I am still a bit confused. Rereading these as an adult I thought would make the whole world more clear, but I haven’t exactly found that to be true! Nevertheless we persist!

4.) Ninth House

The back to school season has inspired me to try to read this again. I think I just have to get past the beginning and the world building, and then I hope I will really like it! Either way, hoping the academia vibes are good!

5.) How to Win Friends and Influence People

This is one of those self-help-y live your best life books that I’ve heard of since middle school, so I thought I should give it a whirl!

6.) The Penderwicks series

The Penderwicks is another comfort series, however this one requires no world building as it is set in our world! It also takes place pre-cell phone, so it has such a quaint, real, homey feel to it, and I thought it would be a good series to reread if I need comfy, familiar books!

And that’s all for now! Hope everyone is enjoying the end of Summer and the beginning of Fall!!!

Photo by Ella Jardim on Unsplash

August Reading List + What I Actually Read in July

Hey Squad, the end of July means I can tell y’all how I barely read this month, and what I am planning on reading in August, which will hopefully be more productive as I am lucky enough to be going to the beach on vacation, where I will have lots of time to read!

From my Reading List for July, I read 7 books, and I read 2 that were not on the list! So, I read:

1.) Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

Even better than I’d expected, and I blabbed to many people about it. Main takeaway: I am now hyper-aware if/when I sit down to put on my socks. I don’t usually, but now if I do, I start over-thinking it!

2&3.) Prince’s Gambit + Kings Rising

I was thrilled that these weren’t as scary as I’d thought they could be, and there was a lot I took away about writing strategy and mind-games!

4.) Kingdom of the Feared

Not gonna lie, while I loved the first book, the last two kept revealing secret after secret that had been kept from the main character, to a point where I didn’t know why we hated one person, and why something else was a plot point, and what the goal was. And then even when I figured out what the goal was, it was an underwhelming achievement, and that didn’t even make sense with some of the betrayals and secrets. I liked the writing style, but really struggled reading this because I was so confused!

5.) The Bane Chronicles

Very fun, though I don’t fully believe the character’s tone would have always been so light. Each story within was very breezy, but knowing the character and the world, I think there would have been a few more sober/jaded moments. So a fun read, but didn’t entirely hold up in context of the rest of the book-universe.

6.) The Diva Rules

This was one of the more unexpected reads, but I read this in one sitting at like 2am, and couldn’t put it down! I thought it was super interesting because I’d never known how Michelle got involved in the underground club/drag scene, and I liked hearing about her experiences as a pop star, especially as there was something to learn from them! Very enjoyable!

7.) Why Not Me?

A great continuation of the former, and I liked the practical advice at the end!

8.) Failing Up

I had read half of this in maybe December, but I thought it was time to re-read/read the whole thing because of my career journey! Very enjoyable, and had some practical advice/wisdom that I related to more than I did in December! Also, a quick read!

9.) To Be A Machine

Finally finished! Super interesting and so much to think about! A mix of philosophy and science, I would urge people with opinions to read this, because I want someone to discuss with! I will say, the ending is rather lackluster because there isn’t a definitive story with an ending at this time, so just be prepared for an open-ended ending!

August Reading List

Really going back in time for a few weeks! At least I am not the only one (thanks lady at the theater that told me she recently re-read Percy Jackson!)

1.) Our Violent Ends

I’m about two chapters in!

2.) Fourth Wing

I’ll have to be in a fantasy mood, but technically this is second on my list because it gets returned in 8 days!!

3.) The Kingdom Keepers Series

I read these as a kid, but I don’t think I ever finished them because I got confused! I had thought there were a ton (like 9) but there are only 7, so that’s good! I know it’s gonna feel weird re-reading them because I only read them once and have a few memories, so it’ll be scattered deja vu I believe! I hope they’re an easy, quick read!

4.) Percy Jackson

With the TV Show coming out I should re-read these anyways, but now that I’m living in NYC, I really want to re-read these, plus as an adult I am missing childhood a bit, and these books were such a big part of my childhood, so I think it will be a comfort read! Also, I just talked about the Lotus Casino like 4 times in the last month so my subconscious is particularly in the mood!

5.) Heroes of Olympus

If I’m reading the OG series I am so also re-reading these! Again, comfort books as I go through a stressful (exciting but stressful) life transition!

6.) Crescent City Series

So, I adore the ACOTAR Series, but there hasn’t been a new book since I read the series for the first time a little over two years ago. But, Sarah J. Mass’s other series SPOILER ALERT includes a crossover with the ACOTAR world. I initially hadn’t wanted to read Crescent City because I knew I’d be painfully waiting for the next book in that series too, but I think my sister cracked me because I really want more ACOTAR content, and I would most likely have to read Crescent City before the next ACOTAR book came out anyways. Now if I read them, I’ll have something new from such a great author, and ACOTAR content, and more to re-read as I wait for the next books. So I won’t have felt like I just re-read one series if I re-read the other in the interim! Also, my family is going on vacation to our favorite place, and the literal only way to to make it better would be if I was reading new ACOTAR content, so I suppose that’s what I have to do as it’ll make vacation even better!

7.) Mastery

I think this will be a great post-vacation read, when I’m focusing 1000% on work, and can get into a really good life-work groove.

8.) Cursed

I read the first one (Gilded) a while ago, but need to read the sequel before I forget everything from the first book!

9.) Normal People

Still gotta get to this one. Ideally I’d be able to fit it in before or at the beach so I can call my friend who just read it to discuss, but I have to be in the mood, and that hasn’t happened yet!

And that is all! Thanks for reading, and I hope you have been enjoying your books recently!

Cover photo from Ostrich

Nightlight

The hour of witching is interrupted by the small light at the wall across by the foot of my bed. The nightlight catches me by surprise, as it throws my room into relief, and makes the world seem more vivacious than the usual knocked out darkness which implies that I should have been asleep long ago.

However, I haven’t had a nightlight in years, and so the thought of one illuminates an imagined image from childhood. Along the wall of which the nightlight is plugged into, I used to wish for a sister. Not entirely the one I had, but not separate either. I used to wish that we would be sisters, and that we would share a room. The room I pictured was mine, with two matching desks pushed up against the nightlight wall. And on each desk would be a lamp of white china, with small bud flowers painted as an accent in a dark magenta, joining the thin gold lines along the angles. And the lamps would have a golden brown lampshade, with fringes of brown beads hanging off of it, exactly like the lamp that does sit on my desk, though on the other side of the room, and never particularly something I liked. I did like the warm yellow light though, and I pictured the sister room filled with it, cast along the parchment paper walls that were purple, the same purple as the sheer curtains that hung along both mine and my sister’s windows in our separate rooms.

And I pictured me and my sister content to read or write at our desks, alone with each other for company, peaceful in the knowledge of another. There is nothing more I would have asked for, to be known and accepted without fuss, by someone simply sitting in the same space as I, focused on similar pursuits without question or the necessity of explanation of why we were doing what we were doing.

That world of comfort is ironic because I find myself rebelling against it in my very soul. I hold as a central tenant the idea that I would rather suffer than be content, because then I wouldn’t be wasting my life. And not would I be the hated type that easily luxuriated in their own privilege, never troubling to step outside their cozy little bubble.

I fear being complacent, of settling for a life of comfort when this is so much joy and sorrow out there to experience. And while I adore my reading and writing, it often feels as if I have wasted a day, wasted away inside, instead of luxuriating in what life has to offer. And so I find myself willing to suffer. On a family vacation, it would be most relaxing to sleep late and rest in air conditioning, yet instead I find myself willing to wake up and trek down to the beach, where I will be suffocated by heat, sweating and malnourished, because it is too hot to eat outside, discomforted by the sand and my bathing suit, all in the name of not doing nothing, and experiencing life. It is illogical, yet suffering is better than regretting that I did not chance the outdoors and the possibility of suffering, but also the possibility of laughter and joy.

But no, it is not my natural state to go to the beach, rather I am thrilled when it’s a rainy day and we all sleep late and stay indoors. Which is why I know that when it comes to life I am a coward. I tell myself to reject contentment, yet I suffer and reject it. I suffer when I do nothing, and I suffer when I do something, which seems to me like I was not made for life. I am grateful for it and do not want to waste it, yet I am also a coward that sometimes cannot face the stress of going outside, and would rather be comforted by my stories and thoughts and television shows, knowing the end of the day will come and it will have felt like a waste of a day because I could not face my discomforts and accept suffering by waking up and going to do something.

The self-hatred rises as this thought eddies in my head, and I open my eyes and attempt to shake it off. It is then that I realize that it is not a nightlight, rather it is the computer charger that is plugged into the wall, with the light shining due to the elevated position of the cord.

It is ironic that it is a computer charger, which represents our reliance on technology. It’s a far cry from the sisters who would read and write, read books and write by hand at their desks. Now, we stare at our screens like mindless robots, hunting for the next piece of media to consume and keep us distracted. Distracted from the thought that instead of watching a fake story, we could theoretically go outside and meet people, live and laugh, and experience one’s own life story, rather than consuming the shallow reflection of life that is fed to us through the screen. I internally scoff because I am a coward, and often wish to be subsumed by my laptop so that I don’t have to deal with the stressors and problems of that which we call real life.

It’s laughable I know, my own contradictions, and as I can’t fall asleep, I get up to go to the bathroom. Upon returning, it becomes horribly clear that I was wrong again, and now I know with certainty that the light is not from the small light on a computer charger, rather it is the light telling me that my camera battery has completed charging. And once more, it is ironic that I thought it was laptop adjacent, when in reality it is the exact opposite, where the laptop keeps you complacent inside, while the camera beckons you to go outside and do something worth capturing. To go live a little, live your own story and take photos, something seemingly worthless to do of someone who sits in bed all day, reading or watching TV. Even photographing the little girls at their desks is too dull, whereas something in life that evokes suffering or joy, pain or pleasure, sorrow or anticipation for something real and meaningful is worth a few hundred kilobytes of storage. And as I tell myself I want to do something that makes me feel alive, I snuggle down into bed and close my eyes, and let my conviction be swept away by the deep slumber that will end with an alarm, and the immediate adrenaline response of no, as I am forced to get up and live a little, with the full knowledge that last night I was strong and full of joie de vivre, and today I am wishing to return to the comfort of darkness and my bed, where no one but myself would say to me that they were judging the fact that by going back to bed I was wasting my life. I’ll sleep when I’m dead…or not. Weak. Who would even want to be my sister. I guess I lose either way. 

Unseem

It’s a blackbird kind of day. The sun feels like limes and salt, and it makes me a little crazy. I want to be a prairie girl, or a shy artist in a seaside cottage, or a spoiled ‘princess’ in the south of France. I want to take a bite out of every apple in the orchard, and I wish for mountains of watermelons so I could eat until I make myself sick, with juice dripping down my cheeks onto linen shorts, even mixing with the dirt between my toes. I want to dash to the river and jump in fully clothed. I want to pop champagne in the grass and cloudwatch without scratching at the legs that carried me through the tall grasses and up the mountainside. I want to sing to that hill, and feel the trees hug me as I hug them. I want a bee sting and ice and ice pops. I want blackberries and blueberries and raspberries, and abandoned attics with dust and sunlight streaming through the windows. I want to throw hay at my companions, and I want to run until I collapse, and then get back up and keep running, without a look back. I want the fire and the stars to whisper the secrets of the universe to me, and I want to gift the Earth the salt of my tears. I wish to be known and unknown, a simple piece of the puzzle but also the most integral cog in the clock. I want the wind to whisper my name, and I want the birds to see me as one of them. God, I wish I was one of them. 

Published in the BC Stylus Spring 2023 Edition

Photo by derek braithwaite on Unsplash